Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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