Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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