My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
