Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
