I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize