You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
