Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
