this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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