your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Bring me that man meat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
