Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol