but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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