I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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