Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
