What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
