apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
