im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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