Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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