I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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