never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
