Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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