you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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