Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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