he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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