What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
