When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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