why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
