I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize