I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
