what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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