When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
