We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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