it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
