How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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