If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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