It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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