my phone needs a breathalizer
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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