chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
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I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
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We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS