I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.