You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
