are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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