Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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