I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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