Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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