and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
