he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
