yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
