U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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