Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
