Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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