i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
