my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
