hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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