Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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