Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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