I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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