summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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