You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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