lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
