I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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