i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
