U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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