In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
