Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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