I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
