I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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